The Most Dangerous Place

Tracy Frisch and Finn Cohen’s interview with Rachel Louise Snyder [“The Most Dangerous Place,” September 2020] reminded me of the abuse that took place during my marriage more than thirty years ago.

My ex-husband used to tell me I was lucky he did not hit me. During one argument he got his rifle and cleaned it in the living room; I stayed in our bedroom wondering if he was going to shoot me or himself. During another argument in bed he clasped his hands together and began hitting the headboard. When he stopped, he said he had not hit me because he didn’t want to give me the satisfaction of calling the police.

The relationship did not start out that way — he could be charming and sweet — but over time he began to want control. I stayed with him for seven years. Emotional abuse wears down your spirit and makes it hard to leave.

I am deeply disappointed The Sun has continued the falsehood that domestic violence is done by men against women and not the reverse. Hundreds of studies compiled by Dr. Martin S. Fiebert show that women beat their men about as often — and at all levels of severity. Even the Department of Justice acknowledges that such violence regularly happens in both directions.

One of the leading cases won by litigator Marc Angelucci vindicated a male veteran who suffered domestic violence at the hands of his spouse over many years. I met and knew this man. I realize this is not politically convenient, but sometimes the truth has to be told whether it is easy or not. So often The Sun does just that.

Can we please set aside this futile scorekeeping and work together to create a better, more just world?